How You Can HUMAN Up to a Higher Level | Bedros Keuilian

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is there a defining moment that triggered that I've had several moments like that you probably know my story but your audience doesn't in 1980 I was 6 years old my dad decided that we're going to escape the Soviet Union my dad was a member of the Communist party we came to the United States we didn't speak English didn't understand the culture didn't know the the people we knew nobody there so while I'm staying home with Mom in the government assisted housing that we lived in my dad my

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brother and my sister are out there working multiple jobs for minimum wage or less my sister would come home crying asking my dad can I quit that job and he would say just work there another month we need the money so we can get out of these crap whole Apartments my sister being 16 years older than me she's like a second mom to me I remember feeling helpless like I can't do anything to help my sister so one of those times when she was crying to my dad I went up to her and I said one day I'm going to

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be so rich that you'll never have to work again that was about 14 years ago I got to a point financially where I told my sister to quit her job I said quit your job you work for me full-time from now on that was a defining moment for me I knew that money would solve problems and this this is the problem with people who think that money is bad money is evil the Bible says the money is evil it says the lust or the love of money is evil in other words the the love of anything the love of so much alcohol is

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[Music] evil bedos welcome welcome to the agency podcast you have some seriously devoted super fans here in Australia man well it's a pleasure to finally be here um the people the culture the every everything is just so amazing about Sydney and all of Australia I've had a good fortune to tour it the last couple of days and uh you know to now be here in your studio has been uh it's really rad and I can't wait to get on stage at Rice to Greatness I mean it's going to be transformational event and I'm happy

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that you're part of that yeah big shout out to rob the and his beautiful wife and everything that they've done and they've done a remarkable job yeah I mean to put on you know we've been putting on live productions like this for the last 13 years I always tell people imagine putting on a one or two or three- day wedding uh you have to entertain the guests you have to feed the guest you have to educate the guests you have to keep them excited about the whole thing uh you know you're renting

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ballrooms you're running Marketing Systems those those seats don't get filled up by themselves and for for Rob and his wife to do three cities back to back it's it's amazing and it is nothing short of uh like miraculous to put something like this on yeah yeah it's remarkable and recently you've released the book man up and I sent our team out to book stores all over the city and we could find it anywhere it's completely sold out it's in high demands but with the title being man up it's quite a

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polarizing title what was the intent and the spirit behind writing that title yeah good question so so my book ManUp I was published in two September of 2018 and it was right in the middle of the me too movement I don't know what was happening here in Australia but in the United States the me tooo movement was you know guys like Bill Cosby and Harvey Weinstein who were just you know absolute [ __ ] to women and a lot of women were were coming out the Woodworks rightfully so saying look this is how

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they've treated me this is what's happened to me and the whole idea was well me too and me too and me too and so to put out a book titled man up was definitely polarizing at that time but the idea of man up wasn't about necessarily empowerment for men it's empowerment for all it's human up human up to your Highest Potential and as I share in the book in 2013 14 and 15 I was suffering in silence um hooked on Badin and and overweight by 30 35 PBS trying to start my businesses and

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realizing how stressful it is how compounding the pressure is when you are not sleeping well when your relationship is struggling when you are overweight and all of this you know put me under massive financial debt and I remember I was unhappy with my business partner he was unhappy with me as with all businesses you kind of have this idea but then when you launch it things happen that derail you and if you're not operating off the same page you begin to really develop a lot of friction and

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that's what we had developed and so now I've got a business partner who I don't like who doesn't like me and I'm in debt and I'm overweight and I'm hooked on vikin in just to fall asleep and I realized one day that if if if I'm going to get this business going and that the business was Fit Body Boot Camp our International Fitness franchise if I'm going to get this thing launched and successful worldwide I have to man up I have to man up and start having the conversation with my business partner

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instead of being passive aggressive I have to man up and do something about my my addiction I have to man up and do something about my weight I have to man up and figure out how to get my finances in order and so literally I would coach myself like dude just man up and have that conversation and I would have anxiety as I was approaching the person to have the conversation because factory installed for me lead is not leadership like I am not a factory installed leader and so I don't have this Joo willing type energy at least

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back then where I believe I just assume joo's he's spoken many of my events and every time I meet him he's just very locked in very direct that wasn't me I grew up in a very Armenian culture under a communist father who taught me with the five brothers it's a backhand right anytime he doesn't like what you're saying he goes you're gonna get the five brothers and he backhand you so you learn to shut up you learn to be passive aggressive you learn to not voice your

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opinions that is the opposite of what a great leader should do and so because of that i' created a mess in terms of my my company um my health my body my my finances and so one ManUp situation at a time I humed up to my higher self like I knew that as humans were're pliable I can learn to be a better leader I can learn to be a better Communicator I can learn to be a better Visionary and if I can lead communicate and create a vision that everyone will buy into I'll have a winning formula and so it took me

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several years to man up to my higher self uh I did and when I wrote the book man up I had no idea that the me too movement was going to launch you know right during the time of the book launch uh in some ways it helped in other ways it didn't there was several people that you and I know um know of everyone who if I mentioned their names they wouldn't want to touch my book with a 10- foot pole during that time they said man we love you I'd have you on my podcast if the title was anything else and then

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there was other people like Andy friscilla Ed melet Lewis house who said man we love you and we understand what the title is about and we'll put you on the podcast and we'll promote your book anyway and I'm not offended or hurt by the guys who didn't put me on their show I I get it um but I'm also the type of person where hope I I realize hopefully you can look beyond the cover and go into the depths of the book and the the information wasn't about you know men empowering themselves over women it was

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just men and women uh empowering themselves to their highest self and in fact UH 60 62% of our readers of of my book buyers are are men which means you know 40% are women so substantial amount are are women readers I think it's interesting when you take that approach and you know that message also resonates with women yeah absolutely way look if you're human you know you're not operating at your highest self there is a internal conversation that you you're having and that internal

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conversation is your higher self it's your conscience telling you that that you need to do this better you need to have that conversation you need to be more structured you need to give up that Vice but what do we do we escape from it we avoid it it we we use alcohol and food and television and social media and drugs to escape the things that are haunting us instead of facing them right and that's what the whole idea of man up and do the thing that you know you're called to do so you can become the

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person that you're meant to be so if someone's sharing a predicament maybe similar to yours or they're facing their own demons you know you're talking about you felt like you were overweight you weren't in a great situation in your relationship both in business and in your intimate relationships if someone's listening to this and they're thinking to themselves okay I want to do something about this do you have a set of pillars or something that they can kind of live by as a system yes

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yeah yeah absolutely it starts with number one internal locus of control uh we were talking about before the mics went hot and the the video camera started rolling most people have an external locus of control which means uh you know it's it's his fault that our business isn't working well and it's her fault that my relationship isn't doing so good and it's this person's fault for running the government into the around and therefore you know people aren't buying from me okay that's all external

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locus of control internal locus of control is what can I do what can I do and the moment you say if it must be it's on me then you realize all right I may not be able to change him but what can I do to do my part of the business better what can I do to improve my relationship more and so when I went internal Locust of control I realized that there's one thing that I can change that no one else can impact it and that is my physiology so I need to stop the things that are hurting me over eating

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at night because I'm an emotional eater and so man okay so you can understand you're stressed you're overwhelmed and in hindsight I look back I just just looking for dopamine right and so I would literally stand in the kitchen at the Kitchen Buffet and eat three or four bagels with I would dip it I wouldn't even spread cream cheese on it I'd break the bagels in half and I dip it in the in the whipped cream cheese and I'd eat it so I'm eating 34,000 calories a night on top of my normal foods that I'm

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eating right so it was easily six 7,000 calories a day and so I tell people if you can just control what goes into your mouth and you can control your activity for the day your exercise program when your body changes your mind and your emotions have to change there's there's not even an option there's not even an option and so when people try and go well I'm going to read a book and try and change my mindset I'm G to try and I'm going to read a book and get myself out of this anxiety or depression good

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luck you're never going to get there you're never going to get there you're just going to be a a more intelligent anxious and depressed person because you're read book start working out and eating clean those are the two things you can absolutely control with 100% certainty that no one else can interfere with and as those winds start stacking up you start seeing that all right I got this positive dopamine hit instead of Vicodin or or or food in my case I got a positive dopamine hit I look good I feel

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good my body's reacting well where else is this going to bleed into because how you do anything is how you do everything the problem is most people want to control everything everything outside of their control and they do nothing about the one or two things that that are within their control so start with your food and and your training get in your best shape ever I tell people get your abs dialed in and tell me you're still depressed 99% of the time depression and anxiety goes away when your abs show

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up that's not by accident I'm G to work on that I I I like what you're saying here and I think these are some important points do you think that I guess regarding dopamine you mentioned Meine I think we're we're living in an era now where people are hooked on their phones they're hooked on viic they they have all kinds of vices that would give them immediate gratification when we're talking about getting abs you know that can take months do you think that we're in a crisis where people are overwhelmed

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by immediate dopamine versus pursuing the delayed gratification absolutely in fact both anxiety and depression is higher than ever right now simply because we're pursuing immediate dopamine what we should be pursuing is serotonin serotonin is you know Dain to decides to BU build this agency it wasn't overnight it took time and effort it was an idea that laid in your head and you you you you worked and you made enough money to hire one person and the next person the next person over years

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you built out an agency that is serotonin to see an idea bring it to fruition and then over time get it to its desired state that is serotonin that's the other happy hormone or chemical in our head dopamine is the constant scrolling like gee did I get enough likes did I get enough comments did my [ __ ] go viral um and so in fact today they're seeing that there's something called short-term memory loss in the youth in young people that have short-term memory loss and you walk into any Starbucks and you go hey U whatever

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iced coffee with a splash of almond milk and two pumps of classic syrup they look up to you I'm sorry was that a cold brew or was that a cappuccino no I said iced [ __ ] coffee and that's because short-term memory loss is gone because when you are constantly screen sucking that quickly your brain does not have the capacity to digest and process it all so is you're forced to purge to purge to purge because otherwise it's overwhelming so what ends up happening is any other new information that comes

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in a coffee order hey Dane my name is bados nice to meet you and you go I'm sorry what's your name it's [ __ ] bados now obviously you know my name that's not what happened but you get what I'm saying we have short-term memory loss now because we're teaching our brain to purge so much information since when should young kids have amnesia right that's effectively what it is and so it's unfortunate but more people are chasing dopamine when they should be chasing serotonin something

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that produces long-term results so yeah [ __ ] get your abs in order get your nutrition in order have a morning routine that sets you up to win you're not Mark Zuckerberg you don't have to wake up and go into Facebook or Instagram or threads to see what's I'm just checking in checking in on what Zuckerberg should be checking in on his platforms to see if they're up and if they're active and he's making money you should be checking in on your [ __ ] someone else's

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[ __ ] that's a good point point you should be checking in on your [ __ ] first right before you worried about what the world's doing again internal locus of control the [ __ ] do I have to do with Mark Zuckerberg you make some good points there and you highlight some dark things as well so you know in the predicament where someone's like okay I'm going to start working on my health I'm going to start eating clean maybe going to bed earlier getting up and having some me time in the morning what about

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professionally what's some things that people should start having as their North Star if they're trying to build a business if they're in a predicament where all hell's breaking loose and nothing's going right on the business side I think it's really important man my whole message throughout my life is three things money meaning and self-mastery make more money when your financial freedom and sovereignty have meaning and purpose because without meaning and purpose life is boring and

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stupid and you'll end up self- deleting as they say or at least contemplating the idea of that and then self-mastery become your highest self like we're not born you know there's no 90-day guide to self right like you weren't born with a operating manual that Mom and dad gave you and so they raised you the best they could um however with that comes some trauma comes some adversities and so our first purpose in life is to develop to our higher self whatever that version of you looks like and then you give that

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version of you to the people that you want to serve right as an example as a leader as a mentor as a coach as a guide as a parent as a spouse as a boss as a leader so in business what do we do well we need to learn two things impulse control and Singularity of focus Focus again this goes back to we have gotten used to trying to get immediate gratification so quickly that if I launch my business and I don't see results in 60 days 90 days 6 months I'm ready to Pivot and move on and so you

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see all these people with all these half-baked ideas that have never really come to fruition and if we can have Singularity of focus and you can control your impulses you can go narrow and deep on the one thing and so what I tell people is like look if nothing else is going right in your business figure out where's my number one source of money because the prao principle applies 8020 rule right that means 80% of my money is probably coming from 20% of my efforts figure out where that 20% of your

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efforts are and put 100% of your efforts there and kill all the other Darlings when you Kill Your Darlings and Stephen King the author um great novelist he wrote a book on how to write books and of course when I was writing man up I was like well [ __ ] this guy knows how to write books let me buy the book and learn how uh one of the biggest takeaways was he says Kill Your Darlings in other words kill the words sentences paragraphs stories that have meaning to you but really give no no meaning to the

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reader so if you're going to have a book that's got a 100,000 words in it if you can trim it down to 60,000 words you're GNA have a higher chance of someone finishing your book therefore getting the value from it so if I've got a business and I'm I'm selling this that and the other I'm doing this marketing strategy and that affiliate program and I'm doing this joint venture and and collab all right let me figure out where does 80% of my efforts like results coming from oh it's from this 20% of the

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thing I'm going to kill everything else and just go Singularity of focus on that and watch how quickly your business turns around so you talked about so you talked about in in the early stages you wanted to overcome all the things you were unhappy with in your life essentially was there a defining moment that triggered that and from that point what was your vision then and there and was it where you are now I've had several moments like that so you probably know my story but your audience doesn't so

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it's worth sharing in 1980 I was 6 years old my dad decided that we're going to escape the Soviet Union my dad was a member of the Communist party that we're going to escape and come to the United States so I'm an immigrant to the United States we came to the United States we didn't speak English didn't understand the culture didn't know the the people we knew nobody there we just knew my dad knew a friend of a friend who would let us stay in his apartment in his flat for

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30 days in that time now I'm also the oops baby so while I was 6 years old my brother was 19 years old my sister was 21 years old right so they're significantly older than me so while I'm staying home with Mom in the government assisted housing that we lived in after those 30 days in that gentleman's apartment my dad my brother and my sister are out there working multiple jobs for minimum wage or less and my sister worked at a pizza shop and the owner of that pizza shop was very lewd

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was very suggestive was very handsy with my sister and my sister would come home crying asking my dad can I quit that job and he would say just work there another month we need the money so we can get out of these crap whole apartments right now again my sister being 16 years older than me she's like a second mom to me and so I remember feeling helpless like I can't do anything to help my sister so one of those times when she was crying to my dad I went up her and I said one day I'm going to be so rich that you'll

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never have to work again and that was about 14 years years ago uh I got to a point financially where I told my sister to quit her job by this point she works as a customer support rep for an insurance company but I said quit your job you work for me full-time from now on she goes well what do I do I said don't worry about it we'll figure it out Joan will figure it out and do some customer support emails do whatever go hang out with Mom and Dad and I love that so that was a defining moment for

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me I knew that money would solve problems and this is a problem with people who think that money is bad money's evil that apparently the Bible says the the the the the money's evil it says the lust or the Love of Money is evil in other words the the love of anything the love of so much alcohol is evil the love of too much Ibuprofen will will will drill a hole in your stomach right but of course money is a vehicle to Freedom money solves the problem of not having Pro of not having money and

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that's a good problem to solve money allows me to donate to the Charities and to the causes that I believe in to the church that I want to support money allows me to give my parents the highest quality of life my mom died last year she died in our house with hospice a Armenian speak speaking caretaker the entire time with her uh she had dementia uh if I didn't have an obscene amount of money she would have died in a nursing home somewhere a horrible death by herself and so to me when I see

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people having this poor negative association with money I simply don't understand it so there's been a lot of defining moments that was a defining moment with my sister another defining moment was when I realized I can use my money I can deploy my money to help my mom even before that in 20 2013 I had a massive panic attack um this was right around the time where I was in massive debt taking lots of Vicodin every night to fall asleep uh eating bagels like they were going out of style 30 lounds overweight

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relationship was suffering and I had this massive panic attack and I swear to you bro I thought I was having a heart attack I was like [ __ ] I'm 38 years old this is how I die right uh thankfully it was just a panic attack but when I went to the doctor again he's like listen like your heart's fine but you had a panic attack and if you keep running your life the way you're doing you are going to have a heart attack at some point and I remember thinking to myself if I die Who Walks Chloe my daughter

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down the aisle who teaches my son Andrew to be a modern day night that's my role and responsibility and so again I deployed my money and I said I'm going to hire some of the best people that I can to help create I'm a great marketer I'm a great Visionary I'm not great at managing people and I realized that about myself but I was was too cheap and too stupid to realize I can deploy my money and hire a second command head of operations a CEO a VP and they could run the people and I could just keep staying

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in my Lane soon as I did that my entire life changed so there's several defining moments where money is concerned and all of those moments were very painful for me and it's usually pain it's not the desire to gain it's the desire to escape some pain that becomes a defining moment for you yeah and I think ton Robins touches on this where he said that you know a woman might wake up in the morning and there's two reasons that she would put on makeup one because she feels good about herself and people will

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give her compliments and the other one is to prevent herself being ridiculed for looking tired or this or that or being made fun of in some regard right a positive reinforcement and a negative reinforcement and you can interchange as an individual how does someone stay primed to see the world in a positive way despite maybe what's in front of them uh well currently um if you look at world history right now this past Saturday there was a attempted assassination on Donald Trump right former president now again in the

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candidacy to become president again you turn on social media at least American social media American News everywhere everywhere and it's actually worldwide news I remember scrolling through the feed and it was just like every post same picture everywhere and what that's doing is charging everybody up and look while I think it's something we should talk about and discuss and figure out why the United States is so divided I love that country my father risked his life to bring us there it's given me

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this amazing life where I could help so many people employ so many people create dozens of businesses so I certainly think we ought to figure out what's going on in our country and who's creating this Division and how can we solve it however what most people do is they focus so much on the external locus of control again look at what happened to Trump this shouldn't happen happened the Democrats did it it's a conspiracy theory why didn't the Secret Service like [ __ ] if you

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could be that Vigilant about your own life if you could question why you're 10 or 15 pounds overweight like you're questioning the Secret Service if you could question your financial bank account your financial State instead of you know why Donald Trump said that why he turned his head this way and and was it a stage thing like people want to create so much noise externally so that they don't have to deal with the noise internally the greatest thing you can do is shut off all information that is not

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pertinent to your life and so social media is exactly that it's information that is developed to trigger your senses anger rage emotion it's not necessarily going to put you in the most positive state of mind so if you want absolute control over yourself control the thoughts that occupy your mind and the people that you surround yourself with those are the two things so the thoughts that occupy your mind can come from mainstream Media newspapers radio music social media and then the people that you surround

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yourself with you are the sum of the people that you surround yourself with I think it was a great stoic that said you wake up and you go out into the world and by the time you come home a very different man has come home you're never the same man that left the house that came back home right between information and people they've had enough influence on you there's a different version of you that came home is it a lesser version or a higher version and I'm always asking myself that and if if I

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knew coming here would be a negative experience I would politely decline but I know you I follow you I like your content like you know what this is going to be an uplifting experience for me a positive experience for me and here we are I'm not social scrolling I'm a creator of content I'm not a consumer of content because I will not consume something that someone else has put out there to change my way of thinking my belief systems my attitude my my my my vision in life when people tell me the

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economy is crashing I go I'm having the best financial year of my life if I really started paying attention to the economy crashing then I wouldn't have the best financial years it's the right perspective to take because I think you can make money in all clets absolutely it's just you know usually in these times of Crisis and and we've identified this a lot of our competitors are Contracting shrinking laying off and you know shrinking their ad Spin and we're doubling it and I think then when the

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Market bounces back we talked about this then you're going to have marketing dominance yeah regarding something you often speak about which is how we get in stuck in a construct of like the nine of5 and The rhythms of society right we talked about Donald Trump and what's happening on social media and how everyone's kind of getting sucked into the void how important is it to realize what's really psychologically happening in that situation and what should people do about it yeah dayto day so on the

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day-to-day basis like whoever gets voted into president let's just use the United States but you can whatever country you're in whether you have a prime minister a king a queen or president Etc doesn't really matter but let's just use the United States it doesn't matter if it's Biden or they replace Biden with Cala Harris or they replace Biden with u Gavin Newsome or if Trump goes into office my economy and my family's Financial State and the people that I work with their state their lifestyle

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their security doesn't change it will constantly improve because we have direct control over that too many people put again so much control in the hands with so much access in the hands of others you know when Trump becomes president that's it it's all going to be racist and if Biden goes into office again we're giving the country away to the Communists well okay but what can you do about your own personal economy your own security your own state of mind your own belief systems right and if you

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change your belief systems and I change mine and I he can change his and we all control our financial State and guess what collectively we are the country voila the country is now back in the hands of the citizens and so we spend too much time drifting Napoleon Hill I think his greatest book is not how to win um what it was Napoleon Hills the book that he's popular for How to Win Friends and Influence People Win Friends and Influence People it's not that book his best book is outwitting the devil that

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he wrote even before How to Win Friends and Influence People the only difference is his family did not want him to put that book out didn't they keep it locked away for like a 100 years since 1936 the book and it was after he passed away that they released it after he passed away and his entire Clan passed away then he he had instructed his estate to put the book out so a book that was written in 1936 was published in 2011 it is more relevant today outwitting the devil is more relevant today than it's

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ever been simply because he talks about those who have a definitive purpose in life and those who are drifting through life those who are drifting through life with no purpose no sense of significance or meaning are latching on to anything fear doubt uncertainty um conspiracy theories right those who have certainty and purpose I don't care about fear I don't care about doubt I don't care about what's happening anywhere else I'm a man on a mission and so he talks about The Drifter versus the person that is locked

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on to his life's goals uh The Drifter will also then get consumed by fear alcohol cigarettes he uses television at the time but today we have social media right the person that has definitiveness of purpose like I know what my life's mission is I know what the universe or my Creator or God whoever your your person Your Leader is I know they put me on this planet for a reason and I'm definitive in that reason and nothing can stop me from that achieving that outcome like that person cannot Drift

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Away into stress anxiety worry depression and so the more that people can focus on their definitiveness of purpose and so the question should be really how does one figure out what their purpose in life is and I think that is the overarching the meaning of life is to figure out the meaning of your life that that's it when you go hey what is the meaning of life don't worry about that what is the meaning of danne's life that's the only thing you should worry about what is the meaning

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of bed roose's life because if I can figure out why the creator has put me here on this planet what are my weaknesses what are my vices what are my fears and frustrations what are the things that keep me awake at night that I worry if I could solve all those things there's probably tens of millions of other people like that who I can go out and help and say Here's the path that I went down to fix all these things if you can relate come join me right that's exactly what I've done over the

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last 20 years of my life an immigrant kid who was broke who was fearful who had been molested by two older boys who had been beat up by by gangs in the United States has grown up to be this man and this man has dealt with so much fear anxiety doubts adversity trauma and throughout my healing journey I now get to sit behind a microphone like this or take the stage at right rise to Greatness and speak to tens of thousands of people at a time and help them find their 2.0 self and so that I know what my meaning of

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life is and if each of us figured out our own meaning of life then the world becomes a much more beautiful place you touch on trauma there and you've often mentioned before that you believe that trauma has led to what you call now your superpower yeah I can relate I grew up in domestic violence I had an abusive stepfather and there's sexual abuse in my family as well when it comes to trauma being so deeply rooted in a family and in an upbringing it can hinder people on a very dark subconscious level sure I know that you

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do deep work with men in particular at your events when when this trauma shows up usually people shut down deflect divert distract Escape Escape how does one catch themselves and and have that conversation with what Napoleon Hill talks about that in that book from my memory the the Shadow Self yeah yeah and I think we need a a level of self- awareness I'm not even talking about a high level of self-awareness where you could go outside like today I am the spec of my own life like I literally see myself standing at that

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door watching all of this happen like these people here are watching all of this happen like that is called having outside eyes on yourself with enough work any one of us can develop and have outside eyes the old me used to react to things when I would get angry and emotional and upset and I feel like Dan rub me the wrong way and I would send you all caps text message with multiple exclamation points and send and of course you would be like wow this guy's gone [ __ ] batshit crazy right now I

00:31:57 - 00:32:47

go you know I wonder why danne sent that I wonder if my friend danne is okay maybe he's having a bad day instead of reacting I respond to it because outside eyes go Dane probably didn't wake up this morning and say how could I ruin bad's day danne may be having a bad day and if I'm a good friend I'm going to reach out to him and say hey buddy everything okay do you want to jump on the phone can we talk that is the 2.0 self and so but somewhere between the 2.0 self and the 1.0 human animal that

00:32:22 - 00:33:19

we are because the human animal is impulsive it's selfish it's greedy it's emot we have to have a level of self-awareness like what am I feeling right now why am I feeling this is this a legitimate feeling maybe there's a person or two that you can trust hey Joan do you think that I I'm out of line if I respond or react this way to Dane for saying this and she might go whoa whoa whoa guy don't send that you know all it takes is him taking a screenshot putting it on social media there goes

00:32:51 - 00:34:00

your reputation right it takes 20 years to build our reputation 20 seconds to ruin it and so that's a warant bu buet line by the way so no one credit me for that um and so I share that with you because it is it is absolutely imperative that we develop some level of self-awareness well that leads us to the more important question how do we become self-aware the ego the ego has will will put up so many Shields not allowing you to see the chinks in your armor the Kryptonite in your armor and so the more you can kill

00:33:26 - 00:34:19

your ego the death of the ego is giving birth to higher self and so you must be able to control your ego and if you can control your ego you become more self-aware you become more self-aware you see how you're showing up to the world and you can ask people hey am I showing up like an [ __ ] or a decent human being give me the brutal honest truth and when they do you can't react to them you have to thank them and then go fix yourself soon you begin to have outside eyes on yourself and you realize

00:33:52 - 00:35:05

holy [ __ ] man like I am no longer run by my emotions but I'm run by consciousness higher self which is a beautiful place to be and you talk about having a personal economy and becoming your 2.0 self how much does your own negative thinking impact your personal life as a father husband a leader a friend and a comrade it used to my my my negative thinking my pessimistic view on life used to impact my life massively in a in a bad way in a bad way I was grew up in a communist family where you're always thinking that

00:34:29 - 00:35:46

the government wants the worst for you which I'm not sure if the government wants the worst for us they just don't want us to unite and to stand up against them as an opposition right and so with that in mind I realized the more I can heal the more I can solve my traumas the more I can Ascend to higher self the less my former self is going to negatively impact my family my my health my finances my mission in life uh but the old self the old version of me dude I was self-sabotaging I would literally gay

00:35:07 - 00:36:03

Hendricks in his book the big leap talks about upper limiting in other words there's this limit of of comfort that you have this glass ceiling he says and you get to a place let's say financially where you've never had this much money before you're making good money there's good profits everything's running well but you haven't done the self-work to heal and to feel deserving of that level of success so subconsciously you go oh this is an unfamiliar territory and you'll do something stupid to sabotage

00:35:35 - 00:36:36

and ruin it and bring yourself to a place of debt of uncertainty of chaos of arguments with friends family whoever because at least that's comfortable it's what you know when you heal you can break through the glass ceiling and then go I deserve this I deserve this I deserve this and I it all goes back to Healing which is self-mastery and before you touched on limiting beliefs yeah what exactly is a limiting belief you know I've studied NLP and often times this this is a bit of a bit of a head

00:36:06 - 00:37:06

Bender to get around of what it really means to have a limiting belief where it might come from and how to find the root cause of it and rip it out yeah yeah so a limiting belief is a false story about yourself that you believe and then therefore go out into the world and find evidence to prove it right so you build a case almost like you know I'm thinking back to when I went to school I went to a lot of different schools I went to over 30 different schools and I had a belief which was I hate reading and I'm

00:36:36 - 00:37:33

terrible at reading and I just decided that I'd build a case for that it's like I've never read many books therefore I I hate it and I suck at it y now I have a library and I can't stop reading you know so for me that was a limiting belief but I think you know how many people are wandering around not realizing that these are taking place well it's typically stories that we tell ourselves so for example my family told me that I was a fat clumsy kid I was I was overweight as a kid and I was clumsy

00:37:04 - 00:37:59

and so I grew up with the narrative the story that I would tell myself is that I'm always going to be fat always going to be clumsy I'm not meant to be athletic so I never took any sports throughout School throughout uh High School any of that stuff and then one day and then I would literally find reasons in the worlds like see I went to the gym and I was nervous and I didn't like it and I was sore the next day this isn't for me I literally thought no one else gets sore except me right cuz I

00:37:31 - 00:38:21

just I find evidence to reinforce the story that I had told myself and then one day I met a football player American football player High School football player we had we were in the same science class and I said Hey how do I get in shape like you he's like man you're goingon to have to work out hard you're going to be sore you have to eat right whoa what do you mean be sore he goes oh yeah you break down your muscles when you work out and so you're going to have microscopic tears in your muscles

00:37:57 - 00:38:46

and then when they go to heal they're going to heal stronger and each time you break them down you get sore and they heal stronger and over time that muscle gets thicker and and you get more athletic looking and you if you eat right you burn the fat and you look like a walking anatomical chart within a year or two I was like holy [ __ ] where do I sign up for this right so he takes me to the gym teaches me how to eat and all of a sudden as I started to lose fat see my abs build muscle I come back senior year

00:38:21 - 00:39:23

of high school in in amazing shape and all of a sudden the story I'm telling myself is I'm athletic I'm fit everybody loves me and then as I'm walking around the campus I see people looking at me I find evidence to reinforce the new story that I've told myself so I realized all we do is trauma happens adversity happens boyfriend girlfriend spouse says something and then you lock on and then you go that's who I am you create a false identity and then you search in the world to find evidence to reinforce

00:38:52 - 00:39:41

that false identity so just go become the best version of yourself in whatever category make more money find find a better spouse get in shape uh begin to learn how to read and you're like man I'm a really [ __ ] great re reader I felt because I'm a foreigner that I couldn't read my book in terms of audiobook right so I was like well I got enough money I can hire any celebrity to read my book right but everybody kept reading when I was teasing my book on social media that it's coming out they're like man I hope

00:39:17 - 00:40:12

you're making an audio book and I hope it's you that reads the audiobook right I was like [ __ ] and so the publisher says hey uh and you can confirm that with Joan the publisher says well for the number of pages that he has we rented two days in a Sound Studio for him and the sound Engineers will walk him through the whole process I said Joan pay for two more days on top of that I need four days because that's how bad of a out loud reader I am so I have the same problem as you and I got there

00:39:44 - 00:40:37

and they taught me how to read out loud they taught me how to actually go through a comma How to emphasize specific things like these guys were professionals sure enough at the end of the two days I had mastered it I didn't need the other two days now I can't wait for my next book and my next book to come out for me to go in studio and read it because I'm like man I'm a [ __ ] awesome reader because the feedback I've gotten from people when they listen to the audiobook they go dude we hear the emotion in your

00:40:11 - 00:40:57

voice when you talk about telling Andrew that you had to sell your GTR because you needed the money to pay for payroll we heard the crackling in your voice and I started crying I was like holy [ __ ] no way an actor reading that could have transferred that same emotion you know what I mean so now I'm like man I'm a good outloud out loud reader so I'll go anywhere and I'll just [ __ ] take a book start reading it out loud like I'm [ __ ] preaching but the old version of me the story I had told myself and the

00:40:34 - 00:41:28

evidence that I had gathered to reinforce that was one I'm not a good reader I am a horrible out reader turns out I'm amazing at it I really like that you can take a story and you can change it and we can completely dictate that I like to think of it like kind of logging into a computer and deleting a line of code and writing something else I love that yes yeah and something I did recently which was a belief I I'd gotten from my mother cuz she has beliefs like the rich are evil and everyone's out to

00:41:01 - 00:41:54

get us and one thing that really hurt me was everyone's out to get you and I would always unconsciously be nervous of other people around me and I just simply started catching myself when I would say it and I would change it to everyone's out to help me and I would get delusional about it and then the weirdest thing that started happening to us was complete Stranges we'd run into would just find ways to help me and it was almost like I'd manifested or or you describe what it is that bro it's not by

00:41:28 - 00:42:29

accident that you think of someone and all of a sudden they text you or call you I really believe there is a universal connection amongst all of us I do believe that Karma exists that we have to pay off our karmic debt in order to develop more goodwi with Humanity to be able to have the good things in life and our parents grandparents they meant well but they come from trauma and so maybe yeah they are like my dad saw his uncles getting shot at by the Turks right during the Armenian Genocide my

00:41:58 - 00:42:49

dad still has a hate on for the Turks he still he'll ask him from time to time do you have any Turkish clients I'm like no dad I don't even though I have two right because he'll literally he'll spit on the ground like that's how much he hates the Turks he had transferred that on to me so as a kid growing up I was like the Turks are evil and then I remember thinking like why are they evil like why is this Turk evil he's not Turks back in 1915 who obviously were part of a

00:42:24 - 00:43:34

massive genocide in terms of the Armenians pretty [ __ ] up up pretty [ __ ] up but this guy here who seems like a solid human being wants to give me money so that I can help him grow his business I could actually be friends with this guy I like how he rolls I like his personality I like his everything about him and and so I I realized very quickly that I could we can start changing narratives man I was 10 11 years ago so I'm 220 pounds now at 242 lbs I was on a lot of testosterone a lot of ceson a lot of deca a lot of [ __ ]

00:42:59 - 00:43:58

because when you live in Southern California Tiana's like an hour away and I would go into Tiana and buy a lot of anabolic steroids and so I was very big during my competitive years as a powerlifter in my early 20s all the way to my mid-30s and I remember thinking to myself God has made me to lift weights I pick things up I put things a powerful belief right yeah right and so when people would say hey do you want to run a marathon do you want to run a half marathon nope I'm not designed to run

00:43:28 - 00:44:21

and so I told myself that story and so every time I try and run things would get and I wouldn't stretch I would try and run in Chucks instead of actual running shoes right and I go see my knees hurt we just went half a mile I'm not made to run now let's go get under the squat bar let's do some deadlifts I'll show you what I'm made to do then one day I decided I'm going to hire a running coach I'm going to train for six weeks and run the San Diego marathon [ __ ] changed my life at 242 lbs I ran

00:43:54 - 00:44:47

the San Diego marathon trained for 6 weeks ran it was it painful absolutely the training the actual Marathon itself all of it that I have thoughts that like I want to quit and no one will know if I quit because like I'm not talking about it on social media however because I pushed through that I realized that we are so pliable whether it's your mind or your body you can learn and become any version of yourself that you want to become now now today once a year I'll do this thing called suckfest where I'll

00:44:21 - 00:45:25

get 37 to 40 miles in throughout the night I'll stay awake all night and go hiking in Chino Hills with zero preparation because I now believe that if I have to I can run 20 to 30 miles run move Etc move my body that level of distance that's the narrative I've told myself I believe that story and I prove it every December and so it's amazing what we can do once we tell our minds that this is my end outcome it's also amazing how we can shackle ourselves to I'm not good with remembering names I'm not good with

00:44:53 - 00:46:07

reading books out loud I'm not made to run like whatever you say you will man manifest yeah and I agree like we we recently recorded the audio book and that was a challenge for the first day and then we started to get into a rhythm and you know by the end of it we were screaming that book out it was it was awesome at your events you take men on these wild ritualistic Journeys where at certain points these men break down they cry how are you able to externalize from your perspective I'm pushing this person beyond their

00:45:30 - 00:46:33

Brink yeah some would say what gives you the right to do that good question and and by the way what you're talking about is the modern day night project it is the most controversial thing that I have right so when I run events people come up and shake my hands and you know gosh you know I follow you I listen to your podcast Etc but when you'll see content creators on YouTube [ __ ] on the project and yet I will continue to run the project because I I've got nine physical letters at my office of men who

00:46:02 - 00:47:15

wrote to me afterwards saying had I not done the project I was going to kill myself every project class so it's a 75h hour experience for men who are suffering in silence white knuckling through life some are considering killing themselves ending their lives about a third of them are either former military or First Responders police some firefighters the other third of them are typically Business Leaders owners operators of business and the other one-third are people who are looking to challenge men who are looking

00:46:38 - 00:47:30

to challenge themselves and break out of their comfort zone life life's been too comfortable for them all of them have some level of trauma pain adversity that they are escaping from sadly they're not about to go to a therapist they're not about to talk to their spouse they're not about to talk to their friend about what's going on the demons that they're dealing with they go to the website for the project and they see what the project is about they see that it's the instructors are

00:47:04 - 00:48:05

Navy Seals they former Marines their army ranger uh and then myself I've got no military background I'm just financially successful in business and over the 75 hours we take this group of 25 to 30 men through this experience now there's a bell that they can ring and quit anytime they want our Navy SEAL instructor he said let's model it after Bud's training where anytime they want to quit they can so these men pay for this experience and what you see on social media is what we

00:47:34 - 00:48:34

put out so out of a 75h hour experience will put out maybe 8 to 12 minutes of clips of Steve the Marine yelling at them saying I'll take this Kar out of my pocket off my hip and I'll I'll cut this tattoo of the project Crest off my hand if any of you [ __ ] think you're going to make it to dinner now he's putting on a show right he's putting on a show he's also batshit crazy but he's one of the most caring loving fathers and husbands you'll ever meet but at the

00:48:05 - 00:48:48

project he's the hammer and that's that I'm Papa Bear if I see you looking at that Bell and you want to ring that Bell I'll just come up to you and say hey look just keep crawling I know it's 2 in the morning I know you've you're like why the [ __ ] am I here why did I pay for this don't look at that Bell consider ringing the bell when the sun comes up tomorrow fair enough and when the sun comes up they see they have a new day they can avoid the bell for one more day

00:48:26 - 00:49:30

we just are going about to graduate nevertheless about 25 30% of the men who go through a class will ring the bell and quit another 10% will get medically rolled they get injured they get rabo whatever but the project is designed to help men have a place that they can suffer together because suffering introduces a man to His Highest self I wish that men were more like women where we could all as dudes who are strangers in here right I know most of them are familiar to you but let's take all the

00:48:58 - 00:49:50

strange dudes let's go to dinner tonight and over some food talk about the hardest things in our life the things that are keeping us awake at night we're not going to do that because as men we have a shield up women are [ __ ] amazing at that you take 10 strange women you sit them down at a restaurant they're just vomiting out everything right and they're all talking at once they're all talking at once they're all solving each other's problems it's like this beautiful

00:49:24 - 00:50:08

Sisterhood solving problems the only time time men will start solving problems I might be like hey hey bro how's it going Dane you're doing good you're like everything's great dane I'm like great man let's go surfing we go surfing so now we're driving in my truck going to the beach we're both looking forward not eye to eye anymore when we were eye to eye I asked how's your life and you said good everything's great cool now we're driving like so Dane how's everything going you're like well

00:49:46 - 00:50:52

you know having these problems or when we're paddling out or when we're building a house or when we're when men are suffering together a bond is created right there's that quote that says the quote is that that we heard is blood is thicker than water but in actuality is taken out of context the quote actually goes like this the Covenant of the blood is thicker than the water of the womb oo you get that right yeah Covenant of the blood is thicker than the water of the womb so men who have suffered together spilled

00:50:19 - 00:51:30

blood together are Tighter and more bonded than two men who come from the same womb Brothers right and so I figured that out about men one that suffering introduces a man to his high self number two that a man must suffer with his peers and must be distracted in order to talk about what is keeping him awake at night why he's entertaining killing himself why he is drugged up uh a a functioning alcoholic so much pornography infidelity in their marriage whatever it is we've dealt with it at the project and we help

00:50:55 - 00:51:56

these men in a very safe environment open up for the first time because I talk about being sexually abused I talk about my addictions every instructor there talks about what's what they've gone through and all of a sudden these men realize that holy [ __ ] and the project really should be about four hours long the evolution where we talk about this stuff is starts at hour number 36 to hour number 40 it's a lot of journaling but we have to make these men suffer ice bath truck pull crawling in

00:51:25 - 00:52:29

mud and dirt with rucks sacks getting yelled at and hammered taken to the beach and having the Navy SEAL put them through surf torture all of these things get these menant to bond we suspend disbelief by keeping them awake now your armor goes down now these strange men are calling each other brothers because every evolution is designed where individually they will all fail collectively you can win you might be a better crawler so you might say hey bados give me your Sledgehammer give me your ruck sack just

00:51:57 - 00:52:43

carry your own body weight I'll crawl when we go to the beach I might be a better swimmer I'll say Dane give me your [ __ ] let me hold on to that while you just trying and keep yourself alive and going to link up to my arms but we are all going to help each other through every evolution I'm getting Goosebumps talking about this because amen when men start call strange Men start calling each other brothers at hour number 36 when I introduced that Evolution toxic cognitions where we're journaling about

00:52:20 - 00:53:14

the worst thing that's happened in our life how it shows up in terms of the damages causing our marriage our relation relationship our business the dark thoughts that we're having for the first time these men can talk about it can write about it it becomes real and then we go hey man can I introduce you to my therapist can we introduce you to a modality called EMDR can we introduce you to a book that I think will help you for the first time these men who thought they were alone and suffering in silence realized they

00:52:47 - 00:53:43

have a Brotherhood some men ring the bell and leave well before hour number 36 and never experienced that oh well not my fault but the suffering is necess Neary but what we put out on social media we don't show the journaling part we don't show when they're eating we don't show the laughter we don't show when they win a when they're you know divide the group up and they're pulling two heavy trucks with the tires deflated so it's harder to pull and this group is going to win or that group is going to

00:53:15 - 00:54:02

win whichever group wins gets a pizza and the other group gets to go and crawl in the mud pit for hours right and to see these guys celebrate and eating the pizza we don't show those things because those aren't going to go vir what's going to go viral is Steve taking out the kar knife and threatening to carve this off his hand it's what's going to go viral is me standing there at the bell and telling this guy to ring the bell three times once for quitting on yourself once for quitting on your team

00:53:39 - 00:54:42

here and once for quitting on your family the family that you told that you're going to come here and transform yourself and go back as a better man you're quitting ring it three times and leave right because you've made that conscious decision this is the way of men we've gotten so soft we've gotten so complacent that when people see this they go how dare you how can you do that to men we're [ __ ] saving lives every day but when you take six to9 minutes of content out of a 75h hour experience and you

00:54:10 - 00:55:15

take it out of context and you make assumptions out of it of course people are going to paint it in a bad light we're about to do class number 20 in October and there's no other thing business or thing that I've done that has been so transformational where 50% of the men that graduate will get this tattoo some are on their body some of the dudes we're talking like business Executives of massive insurance companies worldclass po poker players celebrities Senators the people that have gone

00:54:42 - 00:55:30

through the project if I told you who some of them are and some of them are just regular dudes that own a air conditioning repair company and I don't care how many private jets you have because you might be crawling next to a guy who just has a van who's going home to home fixing air conditioners you're all the same to us in that moment and they have this tattoo dude I've got hundreds of Fit Body Boot Camp locations every location has 4 to 500 Fran uh clients working out I only know of two

00:55:07 - 00:56:01

people that have a Fit Body Boot Camp tattoo on their body Fit Body Boot Camp has been around for 15 years the Project's been around for five years half the dudes get this Crest tattooed on their body some of them a giant mural on their back like they're [ __ ] motorcycle gangsters right it's the only tattoo they have and he's like a [ __ ] insurance executive he goes I can't get in my hand my job because I I go to different nations and I talk but I got it on my back I'm like holy [ __ ] you're

00:55:32 - 00:56:29

a thug it's crazy yeah dude I love that and I think out of everything you've done I'm I'm a huge fan I'm a massive advocate for what you're talking about and you know having grown up you know without a father I I think it's an important thing that we have role models in society that can highlight how important these Journeys are for us as men with all of this work and energy and Tra that you're putting in and all the businesses and content that you're creating how do you want to be

00:56:02 - 00:57:11

remembered I want to be remembered by two amazing kids Andrew and Khloe Andrew's 18 Khloe's 16 uh they're the love of my lives man and uh my wife and I have done such an amazing job raising them uh because remember I'm I'm a foreigner to the United States I found my way probably in my early 30s these kids since they were puppies understand what being a go-giver is understand emotional discipline have a life's Vision realize that they have even this as well as we've raised them we've told

00:56:37 - 00:57:32

them that we probably have traumatized you in some way you're going to have to heal through that and gift yourself to the world and they are making such massive impact at the age of 16 and 18 already I could only imagine at 49 at my age how they're going to impact the world that's how I want to be remembered not by the books I've written the companies I've built the pod and all that [ __ ] I've done by two amazing kids who are going to build an even better Legacy far after I'm

00:57:04 - 00:58:05

gone and what's a quote or a mantra that you've carried with you throughout these years that every listener should and immediately Implement oh dude how you do anything is how you do everything um you look at the the the guy or G who doesn't put the shopping cart away at the grocery store they leave it in the parking space yeah their life is a mess because they failed to put the shopping cart away like how they did that is how they do their their bank account their relationship their health

00:57:35 - 00:58:34

I can look into their car you'll see a disheveled car with soda pop cans and empty coffee cups from Starbucks and hamburger wrappers how you do anything is truly how you do everything because all things are connected and so someone that says well you know uh you know I'm fat but I have a great relationship no you don't you're fat and your relationship is struggling you're ego defenses aren't allowing you to notice that until she files for divorce you stupid [ __ ] but if you were to fix your

00:58:04 - 00:59:05

fatness your relationship would automatically improve as well because you could only love yourself love someone else at the capacity that you love yourself and if you are overfat the one vehicle that you have because you do realize this is just a vehicle right you have a car D I do yes yes yeah when you step into your car and become the driver do you become the car yeah in a weird way yeah right yeah you become the vehicle yeah you become the vehicle so but that car one day will break down you'll get another car correct you have

00:58:34 - 00:59:33

stepped into this vehicle of meat and bones and connective tissue and you cannot get another vehicle this is it like if I said you only get one car the rest of your life you're going to take such Immaculate care of it because it has to see you through this is the only vehicle you have and you poison it and you overfeed it and you and you kill its oper system you [ __ ] how can you love your kids how can you love your wife you don't love yourself you could only love others to the capacity that you can love

00:59:04 - 01:00:08

yourself and so that is the one thing that you can change that can change everything else so obviously how you do anything is how you do everything this is this has been a pivotal moment for me having you here and and hearing you share your stories and and highlight these different things and I'm grateful for everything that you're doing out here one last question is when you wake up in the morning and you're putting a tremendous amount of energy into all of these things what keeps you

00:59:38 - 01:00:44

going the thing that keeps me going man is the moment that I stop focusing on my kids my family my mission my need to serve Humanity I will go back to self-sabotaging like I've been molested I've been been beat up I've been called a foreigner go back to your own [ __ ] country your parents are taking all of our great jobs which I never understood cuz my dad pumped gas and he delivered newspaper two in the morning that certainly can't be America's greatest jobs and so the moment I stop serving

01:00:11 - 01:01:08

humanity is when I selfishly go and start self-destructing and so the thing I asked Kevin is Kevin's my therapist I said Kevin how much longer do I need to keep building and going he said until you die I said why he goes if you don't you will he said you're forced to be reckoned with and you will turn that energy on yourself so just keep serving and so that's exactly what I'm going to keep doing it's the best the most selfish thing I can do is to come here and serve you and then after this we've got

01:00:40 - 01:01:40

another podcast and from there we fly to Melbourne and then we've got another EP podcast there and then we do the show rise to Greatness and then Brisbane I want to constantly be positively contributing to humanity that is where I get my greatest value I feel that I'm a worthless piece of [ __ ] if I don't contribute to humanity and if I feel like a worthless piece of [ __ ] the next best thing for me to do is start self-destructing a lot of wisdom here a lot of energy and I think you know we we

01:01:10 - 01:01:32

share a lot in common and I'm just grateful that you've taken time out of your day and your very busy schedule while here in Australia to come talk to us appreciate it thank appreciate it man thank you for being here