How Comedians Perfect Their Craft | Mark Normand

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first set was horrific it was in Lafayette went to a bar we're all going to do 5 minutes here's the light that means you have 1 minute left and I got to go up and I had a yeast infection at the time so I had a AED up genital situation so I said I'm going to talk about that I go up I'm bombing nobody cares I I sucked I didn't know how to write a joke and the guy is hitting me with the with the light but I it was so far away that I thought he was like like you know when a rock band is killing hit

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the lighter I thought he was like waving like hell yeah you're cooking baby and I just kept going and then he cut the mic on me oh and I remember being you know hearing a hey never uh never leave an empty stage you know the show must go on so I kept going and then eventually I looked to the side of the stage and he's going get the off of there you idiot marck nans what up man good to be here I like the hey I want to get like the Michael Jordan you know the dunking uh silhouette that they have for him for

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Air Jordan I want to get that for me with this well we've run a branding agency man we could take care of that please somebody make that I'll I'll buy it we'll we'll get a photo of you after thewood we'll create a silhouette yes we'll launch a shoe brand well I don't know about a shoe brand but uh I'm not really the most athletic but you know give me a t-shirt I'll I'll wear it yeah if you can saw any Brands outside of Comedy like what do you think you would

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start I like um I like advertising cuz it's basically joke you know it's like uh it's quick it's succinct get the message out and have it pop and catchy yeah cuz I think comedy is about changing perspectives or shifting emotions or catching people off God sure kind of like similar to Comedy I guess yeah when I was a kid I I still remember this I saw a billboard and it said it was it was Christmas time and it said uh J&B Scotch you can't have Christmas without J and B Engle L's Engle L's

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you get it I mean that's brilliant when I saw as a kid it blew my mind and that's basically a it's kind of a joke it's like a bit it's a bit yeah but that was a great ad and I still remember it and I saw that [ __ ] you know 35 years ago or whatever and I understand that you're from New Orleans yes sir yeah so how did you end up in New York well I I uh grew up in New Orleans drunk idiot loser kid with a bunch of jack off friends vandalizing the city and just drinking and I failed out of three

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colleges uh I was a waiter I was a bus boy I moved Furniture I was a janitor I just had all these kind of dead end jobs and then I tried an open mic and I was like this is something I actually cared about it you know you try all these things and you don't really give a [ __ ] you know you're just doing it to do it yeah uh maybe I'll play the piano and then you give that up and maybe I'll do karate and you give that up so I just I did comedy and it's it's stuck and then you

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meet all the Comedians and it's like this team and camaraderie and you're all weirdos together and these band of Misfits you come together and then one guy goes I'm moving to New York cuz this there's no comedy club in New Orleans it's not really a comedy City they don't Embrace comedy it's Jazz it's music it's it's uh parades and Marty and culture and food and architecture but there's not comedy so always want to live in New York so we hi High till it to New York

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moved to Brooklyn got mugged three times in a year uh got bed bugs and did open mics every night got a job as a janitor and uh then I just made as a comedian so how how old were you when you started the first mic I think I was 22 when I did the first one and it was so scary that I had to wait I waited like six months till I did it again cuz I was like I can't do it again it was too it was too hard too hard for me too much mind [ __ ] I I couldn't do it really yeah were you like a funny guy like a college

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totally goofball class clown in college in high school I won that and uh I was obsessed with comedy I was obsessed with nor mcdonal and George Carlin and Bill Murray and SNL and Eddie Murphy and all that [ __ ] loved and Living Color and anything comedy I knew about but I had such a low self-esteem and no selfworth that I was like I can't do that yeah it was like being an astronaut you know it was Million Miles Away so how did you write your first jokes before you got on to do your first Set uh I well that I

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took a speech class okay cuz I was like this is something it's some way to be in front of people talking and I did a speech CL and I killed in my speech and uh then I was like all right and I just used the speech class uh tools they taught me and I tried that with standup and it didn't work cuz they're two different animals but at least it got me going yeah and uh then I just did open mics for years which is brutal yeah uh and then moved to New York yeah so you were like 26 27 when you moved to New York oh no I was

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probably like 23 okay I mov quick cuz there's zero there was Zero com there's a little more now but there was Zero comedy in New Orleans you found your your crew they kind of embrace your weirdness and you're like this is my this is my crowd your crowd you you drive to you drive 3 hours together to go to a gig and it's all meaningless it's you do five minutes in Lafayette which is three hours away from New Orleans but you're in a car with these three idiots and you're all drunk and

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you're all saying horrible things and you're laughing and it's it's comedy is a great craft and all this but it was also the lifestyle I liked yeah you know like we're people go you're driving 3 hours for what oh we're going to do a little Open Mic for 5 minutes oh how much does that pay oh it doesn't pay anything you actually have to pay sometimes to get on the open mic and they're like what are you crazy why would you do that you're like I don't know it's fun I want to do it yeah yeah

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so like when you went on the stage of the first time did did you bomb like did you do well like what happened oh first set was horrific it was in Lafayette went to a bar uh we had a comedy meeting all the comics met up you go outside and they go all all right you're we're all going to do five minutes here's the light that means you have 1 minute left uh here's the order here's going to you know put it on the wall you're third your fifth whatever and I got to go up and I had a yeast infection at the time

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I had a what they call jock itch I was hooking up with a really loose lady at the time so I had a a [ __ ] up genital situation so I said I'm going to talk about that I go up I'm bombing nobody cares I I sucked I didn't know how to write a joke and the guy is hitting me with the with the light but I it was so far away that I thought he was like like you know when a rock band is killing and you hit the lighter I thought he was like waving like hell yeah you're cooking baby and I just kept going and

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then he cut the mic on me oh and I remember being a you know hearing a hey never uh never leave an empty stage you know the show must go on so I kept going and then eventually I looked to the side of the stage and he's going get the [ __ ] off of there you idiot and I was like oh jeez so I got off but I I bombed horribly but I still liked it enough to keep going yeah what was it that you got from it do you think I think it was just a purpose like first it's a challenge of like let me see if I

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can figure this out let me see if I can make these people laugh cuz the first time you play a video game yeah you walk two feet yeah and then you you get killed by a Koopa Troopa or whatever and then you try again you get a little further and then eventually you beat it and I think that's what comedy was I hit you got a little buzz from it you're like let me go again but you waited 6 months yeah it was just so cuz it was so so humiliating and it's so um kind of a little bit of a trauma where you're like

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Jesus that was [ __ ] you're in the shower going oh what was that what what was I thinking people are watching you and then you you assume they're in their kitchen cooking going that guy was a [ __ ] idiot huh so it really sucks but uh you go ah what else am I doing let me try again yeah yeah and then how long did it take till you kind of like started to get good uh man it took a while it's so much failure cuz you got to think let's say you do one open mik a night you did 5 minutes so trying to

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learn something in 5 minute increments takes years you know like if you were going to learn how to play the guitar and you only got I gave you a guitar for five minutes and I took it away yeah so that's hard thing about com is you need an audience you need a microphone you need seats and a building and all these things so uh yeah that that that makes it take so much longer so I figured all right let me try to do like eight open mics a night oh wow and you can only do that in New York yeah so you're on a

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train here going to Bushwick Queens New York Manhattan you're going up and down and you're trying to make them all then while you're on the train you're fixing the joke and then you go up again and again and uh that was kind of how I did it yeah so you just went hard when you came to New York you go you got to go hard or else it's pointless yeah it's like Cobe Bryant I'm not saying I'm Kobe Bryant but like he would say all right how long do you practice four hours all

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right I'll do five and then after a year I have whatever an hour is every day for a year I have 30 60 more hours of practice than you yeah so you're like compressing time frames and trying to get more work in you can exercise your craft and we chat to um Mark Gagnon about this and he was saying that like being a comic is kind of like when you get on stage you take another brick out of the wall and reveal more of yourself oh as you go through it and it was an interesting perspective cuz he was

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explaining it like you're discovering yourself yeah I don't I don't I don't I don't feed into that no process that's not mine how do you see the process like how do how does it I think it's about being funny I don't think like I think if you can shed some skin or find out who you are that's all great but to me that's secondary to being funny okay so if you can find that while being funny great and that's probably better yeah but I think the funny comes first so

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when you say funny like like how would you define that like how do you define someone being funny or that's a tough it's like how do you define someone being attractive like yeah well that's the cool thing about funny is it's this weird magical little gay pixie dust that's on something like some words are just funnier than other and you can't really compute why it's just the way like a fart is funny yeah this noise coming out of your ass that's funny but like yeah why is that funny I

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don't know and uh it just is and so you got to always keep tinkering and you're like it's might be funny if I say queef instead of fart right so even the The Landing of the word oh yeah know it's a totally different outcome in the a completely and the way you say it you say it fast say it slow you say it loud you say it sof all that is uh is is makes a difference yeah do you think this like kind of like an underlying recipe that everyone kind of adheres to or do you think everyone just totally

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finds their finds their own different style I think the good ones find their own way and they know the fundamentals and they can they can do it in their own way yeah uh but that's what we call hack when someone goes up and he goes like black and white people are different huh let me tell you why men and women whatever uh you know whatever the airplane peanuts is the classic hack line but like it's been done we've already been we've already realized it but you get a guy like Mitch Hedberg I

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don't know if you know about him oh you don't know Hedberg nor man I'll check him out check him out he's a he's a game changer but he was a heroin addict who would do onliners and one of his lines was uh I like rice cuz uh it's oh [ __ ] I'm gonna [ __ ] hold on hold on I like rice cuz it's great when you're hungry for 2,000 of something so like 2,000 great you're like that's a [ __ ] up crazy thought but it's funny but it's so outside the box than the traditional

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kind of joke yeah but it's still funny yeah you had another joke where goes I used to do drugs I still do but I used to too you know you're like whoa no one heard this kind of format before for writing a joke and so uh when you can really make it your own you still know the the the tools and in the fundamentals but you can make it your own and change it almost a little that's yeah like like Pulp Fiction he put the whole [ __ ] movie out of order but it works yeah you know it's he knows how to

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make a movie but he made it in an original way gotcha so do you think that people kind of have to figure out the fundamentals before they can go back and like really do their own thing I think so unless you're some weird Savant gifted person who can just spit out yeah but that's that's pretty rare did you have anyone kind of take you on the wing and like show you how to the ropes of like comedy and how to get things done or you just totally have to figure it out yourself you got it comedy is such a

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selfish thing occupation that like everybody's just out for themselves and it's so hard that you you're scaming to get your own success so it's hard to really lend to hand it's almost like you're you're you're sinking and then someone else is sinking and you're like well we're both sinking here so I can't help you and you can't help me but you can get some success and then go I'm going to I'm A Millionaire now I'm a household name I'm going to throw this

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guy a bone that guy a bone so yeah you do what you can with the uh with with with the success you get you can kind of go hey you want to open for me yeah hey let me help you with that joke or whatever so uh the little things but those go a long way when you're a young comic yeah did you have like ever like a moment where someone like that was killing it in the comedy scene like sat down with you and was like Hey man like here's a nugget like here's something oh yeah oh yeah and that meant the world to

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me like Bill Burr was always one time I oh I love Bill Burr man oh the king one time I open for him and he was uh super nice and was like wow that joke's great you could you could say this this and this and I was like oh wow yeah that's great and just the fact that he took the time to listen and then go that's great and I bet there's more there you got to blow that out a little bit and I did blow it out a little bit on his advice but uh stuff like that Seinfeld gave me a shout out on a oh wow I was bombing in

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Buffalo New York at a comedy club there was like eight people there eating [ __ ] covered in sweat I get off stage I walk into the Green Room I'm like woo boy that was tough and my phone's blowing up and they're like some some guy goes Seinfeld's talking about you on a on a news show or a broadcast thing and I looked it up and he was like yeah it's a comedian I like Mark Norman and I was like I I immediately sent to my mom yeah but it just shows like I was eating my ass at this club and then this guy like

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this guy grew up watching look up to is talking about me so those little things will keep you going for 5 years yeah yeah what did he say that he liked about your comedy well somebody goes uh who are the upand coming guys you're we should keep an eye out for and he was like does this guy I like Mark Norman because he's he's like a psycho about comedy like I am yeah so that was like hey I've been called a psycho so many times but never in a good way yeah never from Jerry onf yeah that too cuz I got

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that [ __ ] all the time do you really need to do five sets well what do you all right easy buddy come on what are you some kind of Weirdo And I'm like like well I'm just trying to get good I'm not trying to attack you but I got that a lot starting out no I saw him in an interview recently and and um someone was talking to him about how he sees comedy and he was explaining it like he was obsessed he's like my whole life was bits yeah hunting them down riding them down he's like my whole existence was

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like how do I ride the best jerk yeah yeah I I'm I get that cuz kind you can't beat it yeah you can get better at it but you can never really Master it and I think that keeps everybody into it do you think there's a thing in comedy where like people kind of Hit the market with relevance and then they kind of oh yeah struggle to kind of stay at the top of the pack definitely there's a lot of right place right time Comics or good-look Comics uh and a lot of them tend to go to movies because comedy's a

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very blue collar hardworking job if like like a Bill Burr is a good example or Jim gaffan these people Brian rean Seinfeld who just keep going into their 70s and 80s Don Rickles it's such a hard thing to keep doing cuz you build an hour that's what it's all about the hour and then you put that out on Netflix and then you have to build another hour out of thin air yeah so you're making something out of it's like one thing to make a house that's not easy either but you have the wood you got the blueprint

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you got the plaster and the bricks this is there's nothing here and I got to think of one thing then I got to think of another thing then I got to think of connect it and each joke takes weeks to figure out but you need aund of them to make an hour or whatever it is and uh it's daunting so it's a rare breed that sticks with that yeah the interesting thing for me about comedy is it kind of forces people to stay really humble oh yeah right cuz if you are doing stadiums and you're selling out tickets great but

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they still go to like a small club like 20 people not for the money just purely to test material yes and I think there's this constant flywheel of like Master of the set back to the beginning right right whereas a lot of other careers they're like I don't want to do that because I'm like better now and that's like beneath me but the comedy seems to be like constantly resetting and rebuilding it's the ball up the hill cfus or syphilis whatever his name was but yeah it's that and comedy is all

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failure it's mostly failure yeah so uh it's with a sexy word it's comedy yeah yeah it's mostly failure that's why 99.9 people eventually fluff off yeah because they're like I can't keep doing this yeah you know movie you're like hey I'll movie actor everybody loves actors but I'm like they're just reading lines that someone else wrote not not saying acting isn't amazing but it's not you know like like Daniel D Lewis and myl Street and all these people they're they're some

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great actors yeah but they're not doing the most of the leg work you know like the comic has to go out and eat [ __ ] in Cleveland yeah and then get back on a plane go home r R it go eat [ __ ] in Philadelphia and then come back so it's it's a it's all it's they call them the Warriors of Show Business and we're the lowest rung you know like Jeremy Piven is on the TV show he's in movies and then he the movies dry up he's like I'll do standup and you're like you're going

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to go do the hardest thing now but it's it's there's no barrier to entry with standup meaning like you don't have to learn to play the the ukulele to be a standup you can just get up there and talk yeah so that kind of [ __ ] us because people don't think of it as this incredibly difficult craft but right so like celebrities have like this Sheen of like you know success and like they're an actor and all the rest of it it's like there's accolades and like aspirational components to it but like

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comedy it's so easy to get into it's just not as appreciated or like uh aded yeah yeah and I think good comedy you're like whoa Chris like we all love Chris Rock we adore him he's up on a pedestal had learn that or earn that but uh you still don't you see leard DiCaprio and and Chris rockwalk in her room you you go I want to talk to Leo look at look at this guy he's handsome he's he's famous he's a cool guy Chris Rock like oh cool Chris Rock's here yeah he's not handsome

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you know he's uh he's just a goofball yeah but he's his job is way harder than Leo gotcha yeah no offense to Leo no but shout out to Leo yeah listening today's episode has been brought to you by rival my agency now if you're listening to this and you're a business owner and you're struggling on how to get your Brands to go to the next level then we're offering you a free Discovery call with myself and my team all you have to do is go to rival.com R IV y l.com you

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need a name for your company you want to do package design you need to do photography whatever it is we got you end to end so just go to rival.com r y l.com smash the link for a free call um do you think that like there's something particular in the New York culture that is calling for comedy like if somewhere like New Orleans doesn't have a scene like why does New York have a scene is it because it's been here for so long is it because of the culture and how people operate here like it's a good question

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yeah well I think comedy is an American art form it started here but uh I think New York is we it's full of Arts it's got Broadway and jazz clubs and music and all this stuff you know the Lincoln Center ballet Symphony and comedy here is kind of taken more seriously there's 11 comedy clubs in the city plus you have crazy tourism millions of people flock to New York all over the country all over the world it feels like a giant Disneyland yes yes cuz when we were walking around the main streets we're

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like how many of these people are locals they look like they're from all over the place yeah people need something to do so hey we'll go see a Broadway show ah it's 500 bucks a ticket let's go see a comedy show bucks yeah and you're like oh maybe uh Kevin Hart will pop in maybe uh Jerry Seinfeld will pop in so that's alluring too and 9 million people live here yeah so I think all those factors together make it the the best city for comedy yeah and then back to the fundamentals like what do you think they

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are for comedy like what are like the kind of like the you know maybe not in every case but like the main things that you have to kind of be aware of as a comic on stage oh boy that's tough that's that's a that's a that's a whole another that's a pot in itself that question but I think I think you got to surprise an audience I mean there's so many layers to this first off you have to let's say the crowd doesn't know who you are like I got a couple of fans now

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who will come out and see me and they get me they know me so I can just be myself but with a new comic with a crowd doesn't know you you have to earn their trust you have to be interesting enough immediately and captivating enough immediately that they do give a [ __ ] cuz I used to walk on stage and would go what were we doing later like they would just see me and they're like there's nothing interesting about this guy yeah I might have had a couple funny jokes but I didn't grab them yeah immediately

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and uh so that's part of it you got have like a thing I guess that's why like I'm the fat comic I'm the black guy I'm the gay guy like that's why a lot of people have the guy thing yeah they go towards that because it's it's a quick way to grab you and uh so then first there's that then you got to say something funny out of the gate but you also say something funny that's not divisive because you know it's almost like an appetite here's the appetizer first I'm

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not going to give you a steak right away I got to give you the app first and then the water and then the bread and then the then the then the lunch and then the dinner whatever it is so you got to kind of take it slow you can't just go up to a woman and Fister you know you got to go hey can I buy you a drink hello and you want a Fister but you got to do all the other [ __ ] first just to not look like a psycho yeah you got to have some foreplay and it's very similar to sex were like eventually I'm [ __ ] on your

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face but in the beginning I got to I got to go hello my dear and let me buy you a cocktail and all that you know you got to play the game and and stand Up's very similar but when you have your fans you can just jizz right on them immediately and they love it yeah yeah but you have to build that crowd you have to build a tribe around yourself um and that's when I guess you start to get like your own shows and your own tours and that's is that like when a Comics like made it when you can like travel and sell out is

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that like yeah dream making is for me making it is not is having enough money from Comedy to pay for your life like you don't have to be rich you don't have to be famous you don't have to sell out an arena just doing comedy as a occupation alone to me is making it yeah uh just as a guy who [ __ ] worked on a construction site it's good to be able to just pay you're telling jokes and making a living that's an insane notion uh but you still want to go further you want to make more money you want to make

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more fans you want to you want to be able to sell out everywhere I think selling out everywhere is really the real making it of like oh we're doing the Columbus Funny Bone and we added two shows right so there's such a demand that they they add shows that's really a great feeling yeah and you recently came to Australia yeah we did three at the the Elmore Elmore yeah yeah the enmore and more there you go yeah it's kind of like a cool old school great Room Theater great room really like H totally had a

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blast I didn't want to leave Sydney I love Sydney Australia is really a that's a magical place yeah especially for an American cuz we're kind of doing this thing in America we're like imploding on oursel right now like everybody's mad at everybody and there's so much political division and politics is war and this men women trans this and all that and like I feel like Australia you guys are like what are yall fighting about what we're going surfing give me a beer and

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uh this woman is the hottest lady I've ever seen in my life so um you guys had a little your Co [ __ ] got a little little wild yeah we turned into a prison for two years that was shocking over here I was like you guys are the fun one what are you guys doing yeah I was kind of like what are we doing here like we need to like yeah loosen up a little bit but yeah yeah there was one point where um cuz I was living in Victoria which is like near Melbourne and for like 260 days out of that two years we basically

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couldn't leave the house pretty crazy that's insane but now everything's open again it's great we're fine yeah but yeah I always say Australia feels like America in the'80s it's just like fun the dudes are still like kind of tough the women are hot you go surfing the sun is shining you're just kind of living life out there and you're just you're having fun there is a bit of a ceiling in Australia I feel like like um comedically like you got to you got to kind of get get out you know once you

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like funny like okay now like let's go to America yeah yeah exactly with a lot of things like I want to act let me let me be Mel Gibson and I got to go to Hollywood or what's that other guy's name Eric Bana Chris Hemsworth Hemsworth perfect example yeah Charlie tharen whatever no she South African sorry dude the Hemsworth are like like Idols in a STP yeah I remember I was uh I was living in um a place called maruchi door and there's like this Bluff overlooking the ocean and where there's like waves

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coming in people were surfing and one day the hensworth brothers was sitting on the Cliff face looking at the waves drinking a beer yeah and then like 300 me back like a women in like a semicircle just like oh my God that's hilarious yeah and they just kept turning around and waving and then going back to watching the surf no one wanted to go near them like royalty they're just like just let him let him be in the wild yeah let him be in the wild so don't disturb the the leopards but

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there's a ceiling man like we got some great Comics like we had um we had a guy dude if you look this up online it's pretty Savage a guy named Rodney Roode was like big in the 80s okay real foul like black comedy and then we have like K Baron I don't know if you know him or uh uh AJ Baka oh sure yeah he kind of made it in the US I guess uh and then we had like the um wow what's the name of that Flight of the Concords they're kind of like oh yeah they're like they're New Zealand but

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like we're kind of like yeah New Zealand and Australia are kind of like they they were huge here for you know a couple years yeah huge they on TV show on HBO yeah but how' you tour in Australia go uh I always wanted to I did The melbour Comedy Festival in like 2015 yeah and I had a great time but that Festival it kind of keeps you in a little box I didn't really get to do the whole city yeah and uh this one I was like give me I want Perth I want Adelaide I want Brisbane I want Melbourne I want Sydney

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and I want New Zealand yeah so I did the whole [ __ ] gamut and I had a blast yeah how did you find that the audience work like compared to the US did you have to write different jokes for like these train Market versus no I mean I did my Australia chunk about quaca and uh aboriginals and all that and it's fun coming in as The Outsider as you guys do that [ __ ] uh that little speech in the beginning hello we're on a a stolen land and we have to acknowledge that this is uh we're not giving it back but

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uh we're acknowledging it and I was thought that was hilarious and a funny way to start a comedy show so I would come out and I'm like look I don't live here this ain't my problem I'm going to [ __ ] all over that speech and the audience was like ah thank you we can't do it so you do it yeah we can't say anything it's kind of like it's like one of those subjects you just can't touch it of course of course oh Foreigner can do it right right they don't know any

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better it's not that fault yeah yeah I did it I went to Berlin and I just did all Nazi jokes and that was fun so that I mean that's kind of what the essence of Comedy like let me come in here and and break the ice a little bit and uh it was fun and the crowds I thought were hot as hell and uh I just changed a couple things like grocery store names are different you you guys don't have venmo you have what's your venmo is our pay um online pay oh uh what do we use for that I forgot the name of it uh

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stripe maybe or PayPal or yeah it's like a PayPal type thing but it was some other word yeah but I can't remember what it was but I changed it to that I had a ven mode joke so uh just stuff like that was my only tweak yeah yeah and uh what's next for you man like you did the Netflix special you've had a YouTube One it seems like you're blowing up on socials I'm seeing you on everyone's pods oh wow wow thanks uh I just want to keep going I got a new hour cooking I want to eventually put that

00:29:42 - 00:30:41

down on a Netflix special or something and uh yeah I just want to keep growing and to me it's about maintaining I never thought I'd be here yeah so I just want to keep this [ __ ] how do I just know [ __ ] this up yeah and I look at it almost like a wife where you're like I like this I don't want to lose it I I'm not even I'm not trying to go to Arenas that doesn't entice me movies aren't really for me um so I like I like exactly where I am I'm making a good living I'm doing theaters sometimes

00:30:12 - 00:31:16

adding shows at theaters I have my friends we hang out I like New York I like my life I want to maintain I'm not shooting for the moon here yeah and then you said you had a lady I got a wife yeah yeah yeah that I got married about a year ago I'd say I give it another 6 months no just kidding but uh yeah we're we're doing great we're moving on up we're trying to have a a couple of Rugrats and uh yeah that's the next that's the next thing in my life yeah awesome man and do you think like um

00:30:44 - 00:31:32

like something I'm interested in is like the dynamic of being a comic right it seems like a lot of the work is at nighttime yeah so is this like kind of like you're a chef like you have to wake up at lunch time and like work late into the night yeah yeah well now things have changed so much because comedy is uh com is like crazy popular right now we're in a boom for sure I would say you guys are the new Hollywood you think yeah I would debate that because like if you look at Joe Rogan if you look at Andrew Schultz

00:31:07 - 00:32:03

you look at like Bill bur like people are way more excited to see these people and like like think think about it this way like if a celebrity came to town and had a keynote like they wouldn't sell as many tickets as a comic yeah yeah and they're definitely not as you know put put an actor on stage they're not interesting you know who cares about what Johnny unless he's talking about the trial yeah you talking about [ __ ] on the bed imagine if he came out and became a comic and that was like

00:31:35 - 00:32:29

his first bit yeah but you can't be a comic and have that many scarves and that hat and a British accent for some reason so uh we would you got to make fun of that Comics make fun of those things you can't be that it's doesn't work but um wait what was the question oh yeah the new Hollywood I don't know I think we're a little too um gorilla yeah meaning like we do our own [ __ ] at our own time you go to Hollywood you you shoot something now and it's like all right first you got to get a covid test

00:32:02 - 00:32:57

then uh we got Union rules so you got to eat lunch now and then we'll do a couple hours here and then she's got a wrap because she's not that old yet or what and you're like [ __ ] this we'll just shoot this in 10 minutes on an iPhone in my apartment and it'll be just as funny so yeah I think those days are numbered cuz it's just so much more convenient look at this I mean we're we're in a [ __ ] peyote tent about to blow each other and talking to the gods so this is way better yeah this is

00:32:30 - 00:33:33

way more fun and like in the comedy scene do you think that networking and building relationships has a big role to play in your success or is it just purely like just be funny uh well I think you got to be funny and I think Comics will help you more in this Rel in this business than the industry yeah so I think you got to have good relationships you got to be cool at all the comics and help each other and uh try to have like a camaraderie prop each other up up um so I think that's that's the relationship

00:33:02 - 00:33:59

you you want to keep those relationships and like like I run two podcasts both with old friends like two guys I moved to New York we made friends early and now we run podcast together so now we're in a business together yeah and uh I think that's that's the key like like a Rogan has all his friends on every now and then you know he'll have the protect our Parks guys or or uh Joey Diaz will come on or an old pal and and that that's what it's all about yeah how many guest you on the Pod so far it's

00:33:30 - 00:34:26

countless countless um you guys shooting multiple times a week or yeah that's oh that's what I was getting to yeah we do work at night but now with comedy so popular pods take up your whole day yeah so that so like poding during the day doing comedy at night now you have to like live both sides of the day yeah and it the Pod sells tickets so you kind of have to do it if you because we want to be standups so you want people to show up to the show so you got to do the Pod to sell the tickets to the show yeah

00:33:58 - 00:34:58

yeah what do you think is like the the necessity now for comedy to have a pod right because like I feel like maybe comedians 10 years ago would have an agent and then that's how like people would go see comedy Wares now it's like they have a podcast they have an agent they make content they have Instagram they have Tik Tok like it seems like there's a lot of pressure to create a lot more media now yes this is all new like before comic the beauty of being a comic was you woke up at noon wrote a

00:34:28 - 00:35:22

couple jokes smok some weed got your lunch uh played video games oh it's eight o'clock I'll go do a show yeah and that was your day and now it's like you wake up you do two podcasts you got to book guests for the next podcast uh then you gotta you got to post a clip so you got to edit the clip caption the clip post it all on Tik Tok think of a funny tweet what's a funny tweet and you got to read the news too because you got to know okay I got to I got to write a joke about P Diddy I got to write a joke

00:34:55 - 00:35:50

about Kanye I got to write a joke about uh Alec Baldwin shooting a lady or whatever the [ __ ] it is so you gotta have you gotta have jokes on that too and then you got to go out at night and then do the jokes and then rewrite the jokes if they're not working well enough and so it's it's a lot of plate spinning yeah but I still would take that over Roofing do you have like a team helping you other than the Pod and what you're doing with your friends or a little a little bit yeah yeah I got a guy over

00:35:23 - 00:36:11

here and a guy over there and I throw him a couple bucks can you edit this can can you caption that hey can you you know shoot this so I got I got a few guys but it's it's not like a well oiled machine or anything no do you think if like things keep progressing and accelerating the way they are you're going to have to kind of like put a little crew together and like figure it out or probably yeah yeah which would be kind of cool to have your own business but then if you start having all these

00:35:47 - 00:36:36

responsibilities you're like well what the hell did I get I got in this to not have responsibilities and now you know like you look at a guy like Joe Rogan he's like ah the industry [ __ ] these Gatekeepers and then you go hey hey this guy wants to do your pod he goes no not him you're like well now you're kind of a gatekeeper so you just you got to keep tabs on becoming the thing you hate you don't want to you got to watch out for that yeah yeah and do you find that like going on other people's pods feeds just

00:36:11 - 00:37:08

shows as effective as your own show or like do you think having your own show is like the thing that you need to be doing I think both I think I think that your own show really behooves you you get Like Comics like I don't want to do a pod I'm like I don't want to do it either but you got to do it because it it does help and then I think going on other people's pods helps bring people to your pod and now we're doing kind of a crossover thing yeah you like I think La in like 2014 13 that was like a really Heyday

00:36:39 - 00:37:33

because it was like Santino would go on Theo and then Theo would go on Bobby Lee and then Bobby Lee would go on seura and they really helped each other and they all blew up yeah it's kind of like a little tornado yeah cuz I was watching all their pods the same cuz they're all like collabing and then like I think I saw one where like crystalia swapped with someone and he was making fun of them as though he was them on his pod yes yes you got to know all of them they just [ __ ] with each other and it's

00:37:07 - 00:38:07

just really funny it was like action figures you know you got yeah I discovered like Theo and chrysalia and like all these characters like all like within that little system totally totally and they all blew up Brian Ken yeah and then and they all went to The Comedy Store so The Comedy Store for like 5 years was this magical uh Hub of all this crazy talent and everyone knew them before comedy was like let's go to a show and have some laughs who's on the show this will be fun I have no idea now it's like oh

00:37:37 - 00:38:38

we're going to the show to see Theo yeah and uh that that kind of changed the game and I I think also too nobody wants to say this but nobody was giving Theo Von is obviously a hilarious guy Santino is super talented funny guy nobody was really giving them their own sitcom that used to be the old way those sitcoms are kind of dying so then these pods came out out and everybody's like well this is funnier than How I Met Your Mother you know or [ __ ] Big Bang Theory so let's watch this oh we watch Bobby Lee

00:38:07 - 00:39:00

[ __ ] around this is funnier than TV so it it they made us go there because they wouldn't give us TV anymore yeah and I was saying some outrageous [ __ ] like where B was talking about sucking dicks I like what are you talking about man exactly exactly talking about his trauma and he's making jokes about himself and I'm like man this is unreal like you'll never you'll never get this into a sitcom anywhere SI and it's we love it it's like kill Tony with addicted to to kill Tony man

00:38:34 - 00:39:26

everybody loves kill Tony but it's basically American Idol or The Voice or one of these judge shows they're just ripping on these people having a crack at a a minute is ridiculous yes it's it's pretty brilliant because you don't want too much of these guys you describe this to describe the Shir to the listeners like if you look up kill Tony it's like a panel and it'll have like two guests and also the one that you were on the episode you were on and then they have kill Tony or what's his name

00:39:00 - 00:39:58

Tony Clifton hinchcliff Tony hinchcliff and then the guy next to him I Red Man B yeah and then there's a band and they get a bunch of strangers in Texas to like come on stage and do a minute yes and then they roast them yes on their minute or praise them sure sometimes they're great and a lot of people have broken from the show but it's American Idol which is a huge show in America but you can call a guy a [ __ ] so it's like America it's like you said you can say horrible [ __ ] so it's the best of you

00:39:29 - 00:40:25

get this great judge panel show like a talent show but we can Trash you and say whatever we want and uh get drunk and the band is behind you and there's a live audience I mean it's it's it's a brilliant format yeah and he was underground for like a long time yes yes totally 10 or 11 years he's been doing this but now he's like one of the biggest shows on YouTube easily he's doing the guard he's doing Madison Square Garden he's doing the Forum so it's and people uh some people knock the

00:39:58 - 00:40:59

shows like they're so mean to these young guys but like these people sign up they know what they're getting into people fly in from all over the world just to get that maybe get a minute pulled out of the bucket so in that way it's really uh it's helped comedy it's boosted comedy and then he gets these insane you like Rogan will go on with Tucker Carlson or Ric Flair or uh a UFC fighter and you're like post Malone is on the show for some reason you know and it so you're now any celebrity guests

00:40:28 - 00:41:26

who are in the middle of this [ __ ] circus it's it's pretty cool it's pretty funny and you're seeing people do well as well yeah a few guys that went up on stage did a minute smashed it now they're doing tours yep getting paid and the funny thing is Tony went to some Network NBC hey we got a show to pitch what do you think they would go are you kidding this is degenerate idiot sloppy offensive inappropriate and you go oh okay and that back then that's when you go I guess my show sucks yeah but now

00:40:57 - 00:41:53

now you have the internet and you go well let's let's put it up anyway and it worked yeah so [ __ ] the internet [ __ ] The Gatekeepers cuz they're clueless [ __ ] NBC all these people yeah do you think you have any aspirations to like have your own club one day like the Mother Ship nothing like that no that's sounds like a nightmare and I think you got to be insanely rich and uh I think what he did is incredible it's an amazing club and he nobody talks about this but it's like his secret weapon he

00:41:24 - 00:42:21

can go there do two hours of Comedy night on two different shows on a Monday Tuesday Wednesday then he can go on the road on Friday Saturday and blow people's minds because they're like whoa where's this material is so well written he's created like his own Dojo yes yes and he doesn't have to fly everywhere just to get all that stage time he's got it right in his backyard and uh and he's such a famous guy that it's going to sell out all the time it's going to sell

00:41:53 - 00:42:53

out every night for years so it's a pretty genius business model as as getting forg getting to be a great standup yeah have you done the mothership many times yeah great Club well great layout and a comic designed it so he knew how to how to make it so explain that to me like what's what's like a good situation for a comic on the stage like what are you hoping that the room has yeah well it's all about I think it's all about uh intimacy and no distractions so at his Club you got to

00:42:23 - 00:43:15

bag up the phones which is also great but people go what are you going to say horrible [ __ ] up there and you're like well I'm going to say horrible [ __ ] that's funny hopefully we're not just going up there going nword you know we're still trying to get laughs here so it's like like what happened to Tony hitch Cliffe like right you know he had a big issue with that yeah just removing that exactly so and then that was all out of context too but uh so you lock up the phone so there's no distractions

00:42:49 - 00:43:43

there's no food there yeah so people aren like scrolling text all that [ __ ] cuz it's hard it's right here we're addicted to it and you want to take a photo of of celebrity there or whatever yeah so um just like no phone no phone everyone's fully focused exactly and you can't get anybody in trouble let me record one word they said out of context and put it on the internet so that's gone no food a lot of these clubs have chicken wings how you going to make someone laugh if they're like oh chicken

00:43:16 - 00:44:20

wing mouthful watching no one's laughing you got a mouthful of food and you got to order the chicken wing you got to when it shows up the show's over they they don't do chicken wings at Broadway yeah Hamilton no one's eating a chicken finger yeah so food's out you want low black tight ceilings uh tight walls and you want people cram together you just want it to be like um almost like a like a a pod of people like a cocoon we're all together as a unit and we can all laugh and then not laugh and laugh and

00:43:48 - 00:44:38

then not laugh and uh it's almost like a conversation comes like a hive mind yes yes right so instead of the room being spread out people are in like little groups of like and they can chat with their friends and check their phones and stuff is that what most clubs are like they're kind of the good ones yeah yeah they're they're trying to get the crowd bunched up and fully attentive to what's happening yeah and there's so many clubs where like the ceiling is a mile high and the laughs dissipate and you lose

00:44:13 - 00:45:16

them uh or there's a post in the middle of the audience like a big column and people are doing this [ __ ] so that's already over cuz you got to think a laugh is so flimsy it's it's very fickle the the the the joke to laugh moment you know like if one uh glass hits the ground that's over really yeah because it's it's like a it's tension build quiet tension and then you break it with a punchline so it's all very it's hanging on by a thread comedy already timing and it's like sensitive yeah yeah

00:44:45 - 00:45:32

one one chair goes and then people go what was that and then you missed the joke so you're just trying to figure out an in yes it's almost like you've got the audience you've got the premise you've got like the things that you're stacking and are you looking for a moment where it like pierces the audience and it's like that's the that's the moment that hits and then I can build on that a little bit a little bit because it I don't I don't want to piss the audience off but I do want to prove

00:45:08 - 00:45:56

them wrong because they're kind of going I don't know about this and I'm going no no no no I've worked this out yeah and uh like one of the lines was old uh young people used to eat weed brownies and be like oh man that's a lot of weed now young people eat weed brownies and they're like that's a lot of sugar cuz they're so healthy now you know and young people don't drink as much anymore and they don't have sex as much so there was there was a lot going on in there

00:45:32 - 00:46:28

and uh yeah you just got to keep it's almost like you're a lawyer you got to keep going no no I'm right because of this because of this because of this and you want to make bu a case and you're stacking it and and it does have to have some big Crescendo at the end which I can't remember what it is now but yeah it's got to have a big old twist at the end to tie it all up yeah is that usually something that's like unexpected random like is does it have to have some ingredients to the crescendo at the end

00:46:00 - 00:46:49

yeah and with a joke like that where they're kind of going against each other I think the end should bring them together okay and that's a good way to end it maybe I can't remember how the fu you divide the audience and bring it back yeah yeah exactly cuz if you're going that's basically what a joke is you're going this way long enough you got to turn it yeah cuz now you're doing a joke the whole premise this is now we're getting heavy heavy nerd [ __ ] but eat there's a little jokes in there but

00:46:25 - 00:47:24

eventually the whole thing is a joke okay because a joke is like bring it here bring it here and then twist it I'm doing jokes jokes jokes jok jokes and then I'm twisting the entire premise at the end yeah which the whole now the whole thing is a joke so you thought the premise was this but now it's this yeah exactly and you can converge it into other bits I guess with the whole structure of Comedy do you feel like with social media that it's morphing stand up in a different way like do you find when you

00:46:55 - 00:47:56

go on stage you mentioned before you do Q&A now the you set what does that mean like take me through that well the the the business of standup has changed but good standup kind of Still Remains uh like now you can a guy who's two years in or a girl who's a year in can just have one funny joke put it on Tik Tok it'll go viral and she's kind of famous or she's kind of established and now can go sell tickets yeah it's really all about selling tickets um and so that was new that's new so it's bittersweet

00:47:25 - 00:48:19

because you can blow up and be famous instantly without doing all the grinding and open mics and road work and failure that came with the comic in 2005 cuz there was no Tik Tok or Instagram so you can like find an in now and get like International audience like yes you're big in Australia even though you've only two at once but a lot of people are probably going to buy if you go back right hopefully yeah but that's because of your Clips that's because of your pod now you're kind of like not only limited

00:47:53 - 00:48:51

to Australia but you can go to Europe you go to Asia Pacific so you think like social has broadened the horizons of where you can go it's broadened it but I'm saying that these young comic younger Comics can blow up immediately without doing all the hard part and then I think that's it's great to blow up and it's exciting but it's it's short money because then you go uh you go to these cities or this club and you're not that good because you never had to struggle

00:48:22 - 00:49:20

and and like you're Instagram funny but you're not real life funny yeah yeah exactly and could get there but it's going to most good Comics have been doing it at least 10 15 years so as much as that struggle sucks it's like o zic why would you work out when you just take the shot yeah you know but the shot is going to actually hurt your discipline and it hurts your your your your fortitude and and like your your will because you should want to go I'm going to work out I'm going to eat right

00:48:51 - 00:49:45

come on I got to get my [ __ ] together you can just take the shot you it makes things tooo easy which is great great but I think you'll pay for it later so you think that like I think it's better to go through the struggle as much as it sucks a magic in the struggle yes and it does [ __ ] suck and it it's long that's the hardest part for we're impatient you go I don't want to do 10 years what are you kidding like imagine if I told you had to go to you want a podcast yeah you got to you got to work

00:49:18 - 00:50:15

for 10 years then we'll give you a podcast yeah you're like I'll just start a podcast you're like all right but you'd be better at podcasting if we did the 10e thing yeah but nobody's going to do that but in comedy in standup I think you're better off doing the 10-year run do you think like um from your experience when you've seen someone who's like done well on social gone stage and one of the you know the guys or gals that's been doing this for decades like what is the difference oh

00:49:46 - 00:50:39

man it's it's night and day there chops we call it chop he's got chops like what does chops mean chops means he's got experience he he can uh he gets heckled he can handle it glass breaks he's got a line for that the lights go out he can handle it um he forgets a joke he he he's got something in his back pocket he he's just prepared he's got every tool in the belt a [ __ ] Samurai yeah yeah like imagine you like UFC fighters they have to know how to Grapple how to do

00:50:13 - 00:51:10

Jiu-Jitsu standup boxing they have to know all these like mu Thai like how to handle all variables yes but if you throw just a wrestler in a UFC cage he's going to get kicked in the face and it'll be over so you got to have the the the whole tool belt I think is a standup how did you start dealing with heckers did you have them early on oh I still get them still get them yeah they're they're they're pretty brutal because as I said it's you're hanging on a string with stand up already even when it's

00:50:41 - 00:51:32

going well it's flimsy as [ __ ] yeah it's a house of cards so when a one Heckle comes you got to be ready the whole card drops and then you have to you have to Zing him then you have to Zing him not by not being so mean you can't just go you [ __ ] [ __ ] I hope you die the Crow's like geez Jesus Christ that's not funny Bill bur in Philadelphia but he still made it funny he like you got a statue of Rocky Walt frasers from here you won't even put him up you're [ __ ] racist I saw a comic

00:51:07 - 00:52:09

once in New York and he kept [ __ ] with this guy and the guy wouldn't laugh and uh and the guy was just stone-faced and the comic goes well what's your problem man why why aren't you laughing at anything goes oh I was just waiting for material and the comic was [ __ ] floored he was he like he turned into 2 in tall and he wasn't even trying to be mean he was like oh I just like jokes I like material I like the art of standup and you're just going what what's that shirt all about is that your [ __ ] friend

00:51:38 - 00:52:27

you douche you know and he's like I just want to hear some material and uh I agree with that guy yeah I just cooked him yeah and I was in the audience like I will be doing material I don't want to be one of these crowd work guys cuz and look I'm not this some brilliant crowd work it's it's an art in itself it's incredibly hard to do if you can do it well it's awesome to watch and very entertaining but uh I like ideas I like a comic where they go up and you go oh I never thought of it like that oh that's

00:52:03 - 00:53:04

a great point oh that's so funny oh that's a great take yeah yeah so you you explained that you would do Q&A at the end of your set so like I guess is this separate to the performance or is this an add-on like it's an add-on I do like a full 45 50 minutes in a theater and then I and this is for your show yeah this is my my headlining show oh you do Q&A right after your show yeah wow yeah so 45 minutes I I kind of go through the new I make some Trump jokes some Biden jokes some Elon Musk jokes some Taylor

00:52:33 - 00:53:30

Swift jokes just [ __ ] P Diddy Mike Tyson whatever is going on in the world and then I'll go did I miss anything and usually somebody will yell out uh Jake Paul you know and I'll I'll Riff on Jake Paul yeah and then somebody else will go Gaza and I'll Riff on Gaza hopefully any Gins here woo okay hopefully only one of us bombs you know you say something like stupid like that and uh and then that's I kind of go into a Q&A naturally I don't want to go you guys have any

00:53:01 - 00:54:01

questions right so this isn't like an like an official thing but you kind of like do your material and you like [ __ ] jam out for a bit I jam out and that's where you get the clips yeah so when OJ died somebody yelled OJ so I ripped on OJ and it got some laughs and then the cameraman in in the green room I was like clip that OJ thing and then I put that on Instagram yeah and then here we are so now I'm not burning any of my Act you're creating this extra material extra material so you can make his like

00:53:31 - 00:54:36

bits for Instagram exactly yeah well is there anything at the moment that you're obsessed with outside of Comedy that you're pouring your mind into uh gez that's a good qu I mean I'm a big self-help queef I I love all that [ __ ] like what supplements to take you need sunlight and all that I I think that stuff's really important especially the more screen obsessed we get and uh I I'm uh I'm really fan of that I love skateboarding really man I'm a Hu I grew up skateboarding I think it's a a great

00:54:03 - 00:55:05

Sport and all that I love UFC yeah I like any individual sport tennis where it's just you against the other guy yeah um or skateboard it's just you against you it's like mental sh the concrete pavement yeah yeah basically so I love all that [ __ ] I I I started a whiskey I like to drink uh which is a fun way of saying alcoholic and uh me and my buddy started a whisk Bodega cat it's it's a Ry it's available online and uh I do love podcasting doing it and I listen to probably five a day really who do you

00:54:35 - 00:55:32

listen to oh man I love that Diary of a CEO yeah he's great uh Steven botet there you go guy yeah you you seem to be someone that's quite deep intellectually oh wow really yeah man like I've been hanging out with like Schultz and and G Gagnon and like some of the some of these guys and like I've noticed Like Comics are quite introspective they quite cons did it and they like to think about Big Ideas you just think it's like jokes but it's actually like it requires a lot of like oh yeah you know time and

00:55:04 - 00:55:55

cognitive po to figure out how to put a joke together I think oh we go deep baby yeah it's it's to a detriment like sometimes you just want to check out I think that's why a lot of us OD and drink because it's a lot of deep thinking then and then it's a lot of decoding because so much of the world now is telling you this but it's actually that and so you got to figure out like you go oh it actually is that and then you tell people like no no it's this and they're they think they're 100%

00:55:29 - 00:56:25

right you're like I've done the research and thought about this for hours now you just read a news article you know and uh so that's a big part of of Comedy is is kind of being alone mentally and and uh no one trusts you No One Believes you but you're like no no I'm I'm tell it's like you feel like mellin like no the wor is round they're like no it's flat shut up and they put that [ __ ] in jail so you're obsessed with like working on your mind developing yourself you do

00:55:58 - 00:57:04

like biohacking you like one of those guys that jumps in ice bath and all that stuff nah I'm too uh too lazy for that I don't know I I do I work out every day I try to eat a good a certain amount of right foods and Whole Foods and all that and I tried to meditate kept getting a boner but um I I I definitely thoughts why you trying to meditate yeah yeah definitely all about the mental and the mind and the body's of Temple I totally get all that [ __ ] but uh I'm not have you ever gone like one of those like uh

00:56:30 - 00:57:29

I did that and it didn't work really yeah well I got salt in my eye immediately and it ruined the whole session yeah they're brutal yeah did you did you get a kick out of it the idea for my book came from a float wa yeah I'm one of those weird ones like I lay down in there and I see colors and [ __ ] like wow yeah I felt like I was a mushrooms man waa man see I wanted that yeah maybe try it again I'll try it again I try it wasn't cheap no no it's not I'll try it yeah I did

00:56:59 - 00:57:52

one where you do a like infrared SAA for an hour then you do massage for an hour then you jump in the tank who that might be the way to do it yeah cuz what happens is like you completely sweat out any toxins in the infrared SAA it's like you're really putting your body body under like pressure and it loosens you out for your massage then you get the massage then you just jelly whoa but the sad thing is I hear all that and I go that's a lot of time without a phone yes isn't that one that that that's pretty

00:57:26 - 00:58:22

much what this all comes down to just you could just sit in a park without your phone and you probably have some cool thoughts yeah but we're too addicted we're addicted man yeah we are it's a problem it's it's really a problem yeah and uh I think maybe we'll look like Ronnie Chang he's a comic uh he has a great bit where he says we're going to look at social media like cigarettes like you used Twitter while you were pregnant you it's a great bit but uh I think there's some truth to

00:57:54 - 00:58:55

that and this guy Jonathan height is coming out with all these um theories and studies and stats about how like depression is up on young girls and and suicide is up and all this [ __ ] yeah cuz they're comparisons you know they're like comparing themselves like they're like I don't look like these like supermodels and it's like creating totally yeah it's too much coming at people you know it's it's Gaza it's Ukraine it's fist fights it's animal attacks it's it's uh cancel [ __ ] and

00:58:24 - 00:59:19

politics and Trump and bu it's like yeah it's a lot we used to just sit down and eat you now we're like you know we can't St full phones man yeah yeah I isn't that weird but you know what's cool I watched a movie from like 1982 the other night no one has a phone and you don't think about it you're not like where's everyone's phone because I think we know subconsciously that's normal this is weird yeah you know like you never dream with your phone you never your in a

00:58:52 - 00:59:51

dream going you know what I mean because it's not what's supposed to be happening and I'm not one of these antiphone guys I get it like with GPS and you can communicate with a guy in Beijing you can learn a language you can read a tutorial on YouTube about how to change a tire and play the guitar but you got to regulate it's like alcohol you shouldn't be drinking alcohol 22 hours a day either no but alcohol has its benefits it's takes the edge off it's nice it's you know it's uh fun yeah and

00:59:22 - 01:00:12

the worst of it is like when you're like in the toilet you know just that that whole like thing of like how people don't clean their phones and like bacteria and stuff totally totally and that and I think everyone's [ __ ] now 40% longer because of phones you know I used to read the Ajax bottle when I was [ __ ] cuz I was so bored and now I'm looking at a phone so I'm like I'll wait till this video is done then I'll wipe my ass yeah that's horrible and you're

00:59:47 - 01:00:59

like oh another one I think hemorrhoids and the phone I think hemorrhoids went way up that's how you get hemorrhoids to sitting on the toilet too long yeah fun fact so the phone has definitely kicked the hemorrhoids up yeah uh and on a last note um to bring it to a close like what's the weirdest thing you've ever done to make a profit oh wow jeez that's a good question I think I bet a guy once that I wouldn't uh snort um or or not snort but like eat a glob of Wasabi yeah and I ate it yeah

01:00:23 - 01:01:24

and it sucked but he was like I bet you 20 bucks you wouldn't do that it was like you know you're like watch years old yeah I ate the whole thing and it it was bad yeah it was bad I [ __ ] fire you your throat burns you get that weird sinis pain feel like it would never go away I think I got tased for a buck you know party yeah give you a buck if you let me tase you so [ __ ] like that which is not I'm not uh you know doing anything a pretty wild dude when you were young we were just bored and feral

01:00:52 - 01:01:47

and and drunk you just needed phones yeah that could have saved us yeah we only had like the Nokia 33010 or whatever back then right but hey what about the times you got beat up by at school and you never got no one filmed it yeah how lucky are we like even at your age you know I'm 40 people got in fist fights at a party and that was you know hey Bob lost the fight but it wasn't like hey Bob you're all over a world star yeah you know you just lost the fight and you dealt with it it's

01:01:21 - 01:02:15

embarrassing yeah cuz I think I was I was 13 where we had like those noas like coming to my my school the who the Nokia like you know the oh Nokia yeah yeah Nokia yeah like the the those like thick phones I remember the brick and I remember people making fun of kids cuz they had a phone oh really oh this Losa has a phone need to call his mommy you know that's hilarious that makes more sense actually yeah but you couldn't do like social media it was just like you had snake and snake yeah I remember the

01:01:48 - 01:02:36

T9 took you like a half hour to write one sentence yeah you have to ride it with like the lettera two and all the rest of it that should be maybe a law T9 back yeah so just so it takes people longer to write a text so I think it would it would cut it down like 25 people are doing it now people are buying dumb phones Brands out there now I don't know the name of it but they're like for festivals so when you go to a festival so you're not stuck on your phone you like clip it to your shirt and

01:02:12 - 01:03:03

it like records the festival so you can like record everything but then it doesn't like have all the other [ __ ] so it's just a camera it's just a it's a camera essentially but you can still text and call oh oh but you can't like go and view what you're recording yeah it's clever so it's like you pin it to your shirt you can record everything that's happening sorry I just punched the my Cape um yeah you pin it to your shirt you can record everything um and you can tax and call on it but that's it

01:02:37 - 01:03:30

that's really smart I like that yeah that's what you need man yeah cuz we got all these dumb tricks cuz we're such idiots where we're like leave the phone outside the bedroom every night or uh you know leave the phone over here or put it on grayscale you know all these little weird dumb trick now turn on you do I have an app that turns off Instagram after I've used it for too long yeah and then it goes you want me to turn it off and I go nah so I don't even go with it you know but that that's

01:03:04 - 01:04:01

how bad that's how like undisciplined we are yeah yeah well mck thanks for joining us uh thank you we had a Bloss huge fan excited for your next set when's your next special coming out or your next well I just put one out um late last year so it's going to I'm still building the new hour so I'm I'm trying to shoot it in like January so we'll see but I gotta say talking about Good podcast good interviewer great questions you kept it flowing well done hey appreciate that man thank you so

01:03:33 - 01:04:42

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